#8. Trash
Posted by Austen on Saturday, February 3, 2007 at 12:05 AM
As Matt [1] once said, "People are fucking pigs." This is quite true.
Let me paint a visual for you: if you're carrying some trash, and you see a full garbage can? Do you...
A. Shrug your shoulders and toss the trash in there anyways.
B. Look around to find another trash can.
C. Ask if I wouldn't mind throwing it away for you.
D. Carry the trash with you.
E. All of the above.
If you chose E, you're a fucktard.
Seriously though, B, C and D are all good choices. Regarding B, there is another trash can within five feet of the first trash can. Here's a little picture I quickly drew to represent this message --
For C, I don't really care if you want me to throw your trash away.
I prefer you following D, because you get to actually take your trash with you out the door, and I don't have to deal with it.
Now, herein lies the problem. Hardly anyone, and I mean anyone [2] follows any of the recommended choices. No, they choose to look like dumbasses and dump their trash in a full can.
It gets better. Sometimes both trash cans, see above, are full. Then naturally it seems like it would kick in to not throw your trash in either full trash can. No, they still do it. They keep tossing it on top. Look people, we're not Fresh Kills, we're Seattle's Best.
It could be worse, we could serve alcohol and that would smell like ass. I use to work around alcohol and let's just say I hate the smell; it's like vinegar.
Here's an example of what not to do. First let me explain that the tall trash can (left of image) is a metal can with a cover on top. You can remove that cover and get to the can underneath. This is how you change the trash bags. Simple as Pi.
One night it was nearing closing time, I was emptying out the garbage cans. I took off the lid of the tall trash can and set it to the side, with the can from underneath to the other side. There was no garbage bag in can. Well, as I had walked away I looked back to see a woman toss her cup into the trash. I thought she had tossed it into the empty can, but no, I was mistaken. She had tossed it into the lid. There was nothing under the lid. Nothing but floor. I looked at the woman and laughed.
So don't be like this woman, and don't be a fucktard.
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1. Matt worked for a brief stint in the cafe. I occasionally see him now and then.
2. Roughly about 0.023% of people. I did the math.
Let me paint a visual for you: if you're carrying some trash, and you see a full garbage can? Do you...
A. Shrug your shoulders and toss the trash in there anyways.
B. Look around to find another trash can.
C. Ask if I wouldn't mind throwing it away for you.
D. Carry the trash with you.
E. All of the above.
If you chose E, you're a fucktard.
Seriously though, B, C and D are all good choices. Regarding B, there is another trash can within five feet of the first trash can. Here's a little picture I quickly drew to represent this message --
For C, I don't really care if you want me to throw your trash away.I prefer you following D, because you get to actually take your trash with you out the door, and I don't have to deal with it.
Now, herein lies the problem. Hardly anyone, and I mean anyone [2] follows any of the recommended choices. No, they choose to look like dumbasses and dump their trash in a full can.
It gets better. Sometimes both trash cans, see above, are full. Then naturally it seems like it would kick in to not throw your trash in either full trash can. No, they still do it. They keep tossing it on top. Look people, we're not Fresh Kills, we're Seattle's Best.
It could be worse, we could serve alcohol and that would smell like ass. I use to work around alcohol and let's just say I hate the smell; it's like vinegar.
Here's an example of what not to do. First let me explain that the tall trash can (left of image) is a metal can with a cover on top. You can remove that cover and get to the can underneath. This is how you change the trash bags. Simple as Pi.
One night it was nearing closing time, I was emptying out the garbage cans. I took off the lid of the tall trash can and set it to the side, with the can from underneath to the other side. There was no garbage bag in can. Well, as I had walked away I looked back to see a woman toss her cup into the trash. I thought she had tossed it into the empty can, but no, I was mistaken. She had tossed it into the lid. There was nothing under the lid. Nothing but floor. I looked at the woman and laughed.
So don't be like this woman, and don't be a fucktard.
----------
1. Matt worked for a brief stint in the cafe. I occasionally see him now and then.
2. Roughly about 0.023% of people. I did the math.
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