#13. Milk Creamers & You
Posted by Austen on Friday, February 9, 2007 at 3:11 PM
At the condiment bar, there are two creamers [for your coffee], one labeled Non-Fat Milk and the other Half & Half.
For some reason, I don't know this happens, the simple application [1] of twisting open the top to said creamers escapes some people.
I've once had a woman approach the counter insisting that the Half & Half was empty. And to my horror, she was wrong. It wasn't empty, she just didn't open the lid.
So far, you should learn not to follow in this woman's footsteps. Just use your eyes and notice that if nothing's coming out of the creamers, it might not be empty. And also, if you are certain it is do not toss the creamer down on the counter and demand some more creamers. Just be a mature douche, alright?
Here's a pretty current example:
Earlier, Crayon and Panda [2] were working the cafe, there was an elderly couple [3] trying to place their order when out of nowhere comes this douche of a bag and cuts in front of wrinkle-sacks.
"He was ugly," recalls Crayon.
The man then asks what is the Coffe of the Day [4] was. He then receives a cup of said coffee and approaches the condiment bar.
After ten seconds he appears back at the counter, tossing down the creamers and chocolate shakers [5] saying "You're out of cream." Well no shit, Sherlock. You wouldn't be saying that if it wasn't.
He then goes, "I don't know what, but it seems like Seattle's Best is at the bottom of the barrel here." Oh yeah? And you're a fucking douche. Capiche?
Well, we've [6] made an accurate rendition of his profile.
So, be warned, if you see this man: DON'T serve him.
----------
1. I found a pretty good Physics equation that can be applied here. It's called Torque.
2. Here's a new person you get to meet. This is Panda. She's relatively new to the whole cafe scene, and I haven't really gotten to know the more devious side of her yet. But, so far I've noticed that she's cool. That's about it for the moment.
3. Have I ever mentioned how I dislike the elderly?
4. It was Henry's Blend.
5. The chocolate shakers are a pain in the ass too. I don't know how, but it doesn't matter who uses the sprinkles to be put on their drinks, they seem to have an epiletic seizure while doing so. There's sprinkly shit everywhere. No joke.
6. Crayon made a much better first draft. I did the second. Go Paint v. 5.0.
For some reason, I don't know this happens, the simple application [1] of twisting open the top to said creamers escapes some people.
I've once had a woman approach the counter insisting that the Half & Half was empty. And to my horror, she was wrong. It wasn't empty, she just didn't open the lid.
So far, you should learn not to follow in this woman's footsteps. Just use your eyes and notice that if nothing's coming out of the creamers, it might not be empty. And also, if you are certain it is do not toss the creamer down on the counter and demand some more creamers. Just be a mature douche, alright?
Here's a pretty current example:
Earlier, Crayon and Panda [2] were working the cafe, there was an elderly couple [3] trying to place their order when out of nowhere comes this douche of a bag and cuts in front of wrinkle-sacks.
"He was ugly," recalls Crayon.
The man then asks what is the Coffe of the Day [4] was. He then receives a cup of said coffee and approaches the condiment bar.
After ten seconds he appears back at the counter, tossing down the creamers and chocolate shakers [5] saying "You're out of cream." Well no shit, Sherlock. You wouldn't be saying that if it wasn't.
He then goes, "I don't know what, but it seems like Seattle's Best is at the bottom of the barrel here." Oh yeah? And you're a fucking douche. Capiche?
Well, we've [6] made an accurate rendition of his profile.
So, be warned, if you see this man: DON'T serve him.----------
1. I found a pretty good Physics equation that can be applied here. It's called Torque.
2. Here's a new person you get to meet. This is Panda. She's relatively new to the whole cafe scene, and I haven't really gotten to know the more devious side of her yet. But, so far I've noticed that she's cool. That's about it for the moment.
3. Have I ever mentioned how I dislike the elderly?
4. It was Henry's Blend.
5. The chocolate shakers are a pain in the ass too. I don't know how, but it doesn't matter who uses the sprinkles to be put on their drinks, they seem to have an epiletic seizure while doing so. There's sprinkly shit everywhere. No joke.
6. Crayon made a much better first draft. I did the second. Go Paint v. 5.0.
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